I want to apologize for leaving you hanging for so long! If I was a reader I'd be wondering if I was ever going to come back:) I hope at least now you were able to catch up. I took a short trip to the beach which I will share in a later post. But Yes, I sure did take in and appreciate what a huge God we have to make such a wonderful gift as the beach!
As we knocked at the door she came right away, we walked in and the house looked the same if not worse. Oh she was just so sick... it broke my heart that she had been living here so long like this. She was surprised to see us, but I knew she was happy to see us. We sat down as she jumped around and pacing telling us weird stories of people she had found pictures of. Nothing she was saying really made any sense. Her nervous laugh was worse than I had ever heard it... it gave me chills every time she did it. She would run back into the bedroom to bring out something else to show us. She made us tea that was mixed with bread and other gross stuff. Scott and I couldn't stop looking at each other thinking there is no way we could drink this. The bathroom wasn't working and the whole house had been destroyed by trash. We spent a couple of hours there just stalling as I was nervous and couldn't pull the trigger to leave. One time she was in the bedroom getting something and I looked at Scott across the room and finally got the courage and said "are you ready?" He shook his head yes! She came out, my heart was racing, then I said "mom we want to take to you McDonald's". "Here we go" I thought as she grabbed her purse and said "OK." Then within seconds she jumped into the passenger side of the car... OH NO I thought! I couldn't say anything... I was shocked... I got into the backseat and prayed like crazy!!! We went to McDonald's and ate inside... I was thinking the whole time of a way to get her into that backseat! As we ate I was still nervous but knew we were doing the right thing! What kept me going was thinking "she is going to finally going to get the help she has needed for so long!" We returned to the car and again she jumped into the passenger seat... I had to let it go and trust the Lord is going to take care of her! My mom was still telling her stories non stop not really paying any attention as we kept driving. We both tried to keep her distracted by asking question to her made up stories. We passed downtown and I saw her grab the handle of the car door.. my heart sunk. Oh no, did she realize we were leaving? She kept her hand there! I just didn't want her to try to get out. We drove the long way back as we didn't want her to know where we were going. I would stop and think Oh My Gosh we are actually doing this! Thank you Lord!! After more than 20 years my mom was not in her town anymore. It was a miracle! I had texted my friend letting her know we were on our way. It was like having a 5 year old in the car as she looked out the window and we would say things like "look at those cows, wow look at those horses, look at the billboards" etc.. it was exhausting to keep her distracted. I just couldn't stop thinking "she hasn't asked once where we were going!?" It was amazing! Scott and I weren't really able to communicate only through the rear view mirror... we would look at each other to read each other's lips. We were both on high alert the entire drive... she rode with her hand on the door the entire time! We were finally approaching our city and she finally had fallen asleep. OK it's a miracle we are here but now our next step is the hospital... Lord, help me! If you don't know anything about mentally sick people, well one of their biggest fears is they think everyone is after them. That is the last thing I want her to think about me! We arrived at the hospital around 10 pm... as we were pulling into the driveway my mom wakes up and my heart sinks into my stomach! Scott pulls up and jumps out to tell them we were there. As he walks in, an ambulance pulls up and they pull someone out on a stretcher and she now knows we are at a hospital. It was silent until she said "where are we?" I panic and try to stall thinking "where is Scott?!" "Mom it's time for you to get help" I said.. tears filled my eyes. I told her where she was and she was mad and disappointed I would do something like this to her. My heart was crushed but I knew the Lord told me to get her and it was the right thing to do! She felt betrayed by me... but then the nurse came out, opened the car door and gave my mom her rights and told her to come in. Our friends were in the lobby and my heart felt so loved by them to have them there! God knew I needed that support! My mom went in with the counselor... all I was thinking was "she has to pass this interview to get into the place and if she doesn't then we're stuck with no place for her." We were sitting outside the door and could hear almost everything... she was showing her true colors which was GREAT! In the end they did have good reasons to admit her, and she was put on the lock down manic floor. She had been suicidal before and wanted to watch her closely. I gave her a hug and told her I love her and I wanted to get her help. I think she for the first time realized she needed help and a peace came over her willing to go.. I watched her as she walked down the hallway... the hallway of recovery!
Scott and I left that night with a closer bond than ever before knowing we just shared in something no one would ever understand! We were mentally and physically exhausted! Getting back to the house around midnight I called my grandmother (her mother) and told her " I GOT HER!!" She was shocked and I shared everything with her as we both cried tears of joy, hope, and relief! It was one of those days that I will never forget in my entire life. Growing up with a mom that was sick I had dreamed of getting her help for so long! It was a dream come true and I could have never done it without Jesus to lean on! I felt He used me for his Good that day! It was an out of body experience... He used me to save her and I'm so grateful! Our God is a powerful and almighty God that is all knowing and all protecting! My mom is His child and He saved her that day! The tears stream down my face writing this now knowing He took care of us and worked out every crazy detail for His good! Writing this is hard but I know again He is using this for His good... as I have lived these trials I know it is my duty to share them to help teach and show others. TRUST your WHOLE heart with Him and He will work out every detail of your life!
So where was I?... oh yes... driving down again, this time to get my mother. This drive was so different from driving down before... I had a mission and all my adrenaline was going and I was ready! It was like my mind had kicked into a different gear... going to rescue her. It was time to do all that I could to get her out of that house and get her some help! I was ready but really didn't have a solid plan... I was calling making all the arrangements during the drive. Every phone call opened up doors... God was working out all the details! Here's a really awesome part... one of my best friends, that also was a bridesmaid in my wedding, worked at a small Hospital that dealt with patients with mental problems. That was such a blessing and I was so thankful to have that gift! I called my friend to see if there was any rooms for her to be admitted that night. I knew it was going to be late when we got there but they said they would line up a counselor and they would find a room if she qualified. I also told them I was not going to tell her I was taking her there until the minute we got into the driveway because I knew she would not come with us if she knew. If we had her on the property then we could Baker Act her in the parking lot if she refused to come into the hospital. It felt scary as I just didn't know how badly my mom would react, but I knew that God was in control.... this was a child of His and He was going to protect her. After organizing the hospital, Scott and I needed to get our plan on how in the world we were going to get her out of the house. After coming up with a million different ways, we went with the simplest... telling her we are going to take her McDonald's (her favorite) for dinner then after that not drive back to the house but keep driving all the way to our town (4 hours away!) with her in the backseat with childproof locks on. If she asked where we were going I would tell her back to my town. The key we thought was for sure getting her in the back seat as I was really scared she would try to get out if we stopped.
After 4 hours of driving everything was in place as good as it was going to get. The nerves kicked in as we drove into the driveway of the house. Here we go...
After 4 hours of driving everything was in place as good as it was going to get. The nerves kicked in as we drove into the driveway of the house. Here we go...
As we knocked at the door she came right away, we walked in and the house looked the same if not worse. Oh she was just so sick... it broke my heart that she had been living here so long like this. She was surprised to see us, but I knew she was happy to see us. We sat down as she jumped around and pacing telling us weird stories of people she had found pictures of. Nothing she was saying really made any sense. Her nervous laugh was worse than I had ever heard it... it gave me chills every time she did it. She would run back into the bedroom to bring out something else to show us. She made us tea that was mixed with bread and other gross stuff. Scott and I couldn't stop looking at each other thinking there is no way we could drink this. The bathroom wasn't working and the whole house had been destroyed by trash. We spent a couple of hours there just stalling as I was nervous and couldn't pull the trigger to leave. One time she was in the bedroom getting something and I looked at Scott across the room and finally got the courage and said "are you ready?" He shook his head yes! She came out, my heart was racing, then I said "mom we want to take to you McDonald's". "Here we go" I thought as she grabbed her purse and said "OK." Then within seconds she jumped into the passenger side of the car... OH NO I thought! I couldn't say anything... I was shocked... I got into the backseat and prayed like crazy!!! We went to McDonald's and ate inside... I was thinking the whole time of a way to get her into that backseat! As we ate I was still nervous but knew we were doing the right thing! What kept me going was thinking "she is going to finally going to get the help she has needed for so long!" We returned to the car and again she jumped into the passenger seat... I had to let it go and trust the Lord is going to take care of her! My mom was still telling her stories non stop not really paying any attention as we kept driving. We both tried to keep her distracted by asking question to her made up stories. We passed downtown and I saw her grab the handle of the car door.. my heart sunk. Oh no, did she realize we were leaving? She kept her hand there! I just didn't want her to try to get out. We drove the long way back as we didn't want her to know where we were going. I would stop and think Oh My Gosh we are actually doing this! Thank you Lord!! After more than 20 years my mom was not in her town anymore. It was a miracle! I had texted my friend letting her know we were on our way. It was like having a 5 year old in the car as she looked out the window and we would say things like "look at those cows, wow look at those horses, look at the billboards" etc.. it was exhausting to keep her distracted. I just couldn't stop thinking "she hasn't asked once where we were going!?" It was amazing! Scott and I weren't really able to communicate only through the rear view mirror... we would look at each other to read each other's lips. We were both on high alert the entire drive... she rode with her hand on the door the entire time! We were finally approaching our city and she finally had fallen asleep. OK it's a miracle we are here but now our next step is the hospital... Lord, help me! If you don't know anything about mentally sick people, well one of their biggest fears is they think everyone is after them. That is the last thing I want her to think about me! We arrived at the hospital around 10 pm... as we were pulling into the driveway my mom wakes up and my heart sinks into my stomach! Scott pulls up and jumps out to tell them we were there. As he walks in, an ambulance pulls up and they pull someone out on a stretcher and she now knows we are at a hospital. It was silent until she said "where are we?" I panic and try to stall thinking "where is Scott?!" "Mom it's time for you to get help" I said.. tears filled my eyes. I told her where she was and she was mad and disappointed I would do something like this to her. My heart was crushed but I knew the Lord told me to get her and it was the right thing to do! She felt betrayed by me... but then the nurse came out, opened the car door and gave my mom her rights and told her to come in. Our friends were in the lobby and my heart felt so loved by them to have them there! God knew I needed that support! My mom went in with the counselor... all I was thinking was "she has to pass this interview to get into the place and if she doesn't then we're stuck with no place for her." We were sitting outside the door and could hear almost everything... she was showing her true colors which was GREAT! In the end they did have good reasons to admit her, and she was put on the lock down manic floor. She had been suicidal before and wanted to watch her closely. I gave her a hug and told her I love her and I wanted to get her help. I think she for the first time realized she needed help and a peace came over her willing to go.. I watched her as she walked down the hallway... the hallway of recovery!
Scott and I left that night with a closer bond than ever before knowing we just shared in something no one would ever understand! We were mentally and physically exhausted! Getting back to the house around midnight I called my grandmother (her mother) and told her " I GOT HER!!" She was shocked and I shared everything with her as we both cried tears of joy, hope, and relief! It was one of those days that I will never forget in my entire life. Growing up with a mom that was sick I had dreamed of getting her help for so long! It was a dream come true and I could have never done it without Jesus to lean on! I felt He used me for his Good that day! It was an out of body experience... He used me to save her and I'm so grateful! Our God is a powerful and almighty God that is all knowing and all protecting! My mom is His child and He saved her that day! The tears stream down my face writing this now knowing He took care of us and worked out every crazy detail for His good! Writing this is hard but I know again He is using this for His good... as I have lived these trials I know it is my duty to share them to help teach and show others. TRUST your WHOLE heart with Him and He will work out every detail of your life!
I have one more final chapter to share. To be continued...
2 comments:
Heidi, the house is quiet and I just got through catching up on your story. Can't wait to read the rest and see what God did and is still doing! He is so full of compassion and care and provision. Thank you for sharing.
I have been reading your story and, even though I don't know you, I am SO proud of you!! Sometimes the Lord asks us to do really hard things, and you were brave enough to be obedient. I can't wait to keep reading...you should write a book! =)
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